Crocs. Nothing beats them. Remember a few years back when everbody had them? I was, unfortunately, a Crocs follower; owning a pair of purple Cayman’s that made my very small feet seem tiny out of proportions. Crocs make my feet sweat, my ankles rub against the inner rivets (so much that they were bleeding), and did I mention they look hideous (well, I guess in a cute way back then.)? The rivets broke eventually, resulting in straps that fell off. One of the worst $60 investments, they were selling for half the price after the height of the trend! And what’s worst than Crocs? Croc knock-off’s thanks to Ardene’s and dollar stores. I hate Ardenes. Every time I walk in there, I am overwhelmed by the odour of plastic. CHEAP PLASTIC. And the accessories they sell brake easily and the look of the products? EEW. Please opt for teenybopper Claire’s instead.
From top left corner clockwise: Wendy, Cynthia Vincent, Chloe, Christopher Kane
I. Hate. Scalloped. Edges. They look like what would happen if one of my funky design scissors grew bigger and SNIP SNIP had a few accidents. Scalloped clothing are acceptable on a smaller scale, but they annoy me when larger. Looks like somebody ran out of fabric and had to use grandma’s tablecloth! Remember when the Gap had this scallop-edged blouse? ~shivers~
SHINY BLACK LEGGINGS
We can blame American Apparel for this one. I can barely tolerate metallic leggings, but these just gross me out. Who would want to look like their lower half has been (generously) dipped in the Gulf of Mexico? And they leave almost nothing to the imagination. Children, avert your eyes. But…they should be fine as long as you wear something up to your lower thighs over it. If you have a larger derrière, forget it. Explain to me how you wash these after not ventilating in them. P.S. if you get silver leggings, your legs would camaflouge with the subway! Yay!
Shorts with pockets hanging out
Shorts by Free People (I think they're both the same)
Get on your knees and beg the Fashion Gods for forgivness. So if Fashion is a Religion and Vogue is the Bible’s equivalent, there must be Gods there as well! And Goddesses for that matter too. Come to think of it, there are way more Goddesses… Anyways, getting off point. What I’m trying to say is BURN THESE @#$%^&*! pockets dangling outside of their territory means your grandmother is not pleased. Not pleased at all. With the length of your booty shorts. Did I just say that?!
And you thought you could never get suspended from school for wearing something…
Louis Vuitton monogrammed bags/luggage
Since 1854…and still popular.
If someone was to force me to choose something that is wayy too overrated in fashion, it has to be L.V. Can I say something? YOU ARE NOT “RICH” OR “POPULAR” IF YOU CAN AFFORD L.V.’S MONOGRAMMED COLLECTIONS. SHOWING OFF A L.V. ON YOUR ARM DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE “RICH” OR “POPULAR.” IT SIMPLY MEANS YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH YOUR INDIVIDUALITY.
Unless you actually like Louis Vuitton’s labeled handbags…
Personally, I am not a can of soup. I don’t need branding all over me.